AN OASIS IN THE TENT LINES
Garden Dug By Alan Clarke, RASC 30 Coy
We can all recall the pointless chore of brushing sand into parallel lines outside the tent before morning parade. After a time it became second nature, a piece of cake! Why was it that four of us in the senior NCO’s tent on HQ lines were chosen to be different?
The word came down from the Company Commander via the CSM that we should stand out from the others in that a ’GARDEN’ would be more appropriate at the front of our EPIP abode. This called for some serious thinking, perhaps the formation of a focus group, but they hadn’t been invented yet! OK chaps, military precision it is, we are all trained to the highest standards of the British Armed Services! First of all dig out the sand to a depth of one yard - then settle for two feet as it’s getting hard underneath! Distribute sand in piles and wait for the next sand storm to blow it evenly across the vehicle park.
Having completed phase one, what about top soil? This called for more serious research as there was a distinct lack of garden centres in the area and we did not have access to Yellow Pages. A reconnaissance party located the only possible source – the Officers Mess and the Sergeants Mess, they had all of our requirements in abundance. Brian, being the NCO i/c fire points would provide a good quantity of buckets for transporting the soil. What about timing? It must be dark of course, synchronize watches, meet at 2100 hrs and post sentry behind the Sergeants Mess in the unlikely event of a sober WO catching us in the act. Taffy suggested we “black-up” and wear balaclavas but the rest of us felt that this would make us look silly, dammit! We are RASC not SAS.!!
Over the course of a few nights the garden was taking shape nicely, now for the tricky bit. The plants in the Officers Mess garden were, naturally, superior, so we gave close attention to the attractive varieties on offer, would it be the Acer campestre or perhaps the Clematis viticella? In the end we opted for the small green stuff, it would cover more ground. We were tempted to take the Palm Tree but at eight foot plus tall this would have given the game away, so we settled for some choice pieces of rockery.
Mission complete – Alan Tichmarsh, get your knees brown!
The result was gratifying, so much so that photographs were taken to record this exercise in ingenuity for posterity – here is that proof!
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